Judging by the pile behind it, I guess we have to assume that's "Poop in Peace."
(Which, come to think of it, is probably what every parent of a two to six-year-old dreams of doing.)
Jack O' Lanterns:
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
Sperm Bullies:
YOU PRETTY MUCH NAILED IT.
I can't decide if these two are hanging garland or just have massive orthodontist bills:
Boo? Boo?!YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
Thank you.
Thanks to Porter N., Rane L., Katya H., Lisa S., Laura W., & Destiny G., who think that last one is pretty yracs.
******
P.S. You know how everyone is decorating with these cute wall bats for spooky season?
Well I found them on Amazon! They're re-usable PVC - so weatherproof - and cost less than $10 for a pack of 56. While you're there I highly recommend scrolling the customer image gallery, too, for cute decorating ideas like this.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, bakers, which means it's time to slap pink icing ribbons on everything, including last month's leftover cookies:
Pro Tip: When licking icing off your display cookies, try to be more thorough. Otherwise people might start asking questions.
It also means that every October birthday is no longer just a birthday:
It's a "Flappy Beiast Awaranistsy" Birthday!
Plus, what better time is there to break out the ol' "Ring o' Stomachs" icing border?
NO TIME, that's when.
Of course, since even the simple ribbon loop is beyond many bakers' skill set, you might want to cheat a bit by using candy molds:
Pro Tip: these also work great for bachelorette parties.
Or maybe stick to a single ribbon and just one misspelled word:
G, I admire your restraint.
Or how about a simple, inspiring inscription? You know, something about hope, and strength, and working towards a cure?
Or a confusingly depressing sentiment that makes less and less sense the more you think about it?
Because when I remember a painful loss, the first thing I want to do - I mean, AFTER celebrating the fact that I just remembered my painful loss - is eat a giant cookie cake.
[sigh]
Tell you what, bakers, maybe we should just go back to the ribbons.
Perfect.
Thanks to Sarah A., Gia E., Crystal A., Jen P., Anony M., Michelle T., & Leslie P. for keeping us abreast of the situation. TTFN, ladies!
*****
P.S. Want to celebrate Breast Cancer Awareness in the spirit of the spooky season? Then allow me to present the greatest October t-shirt of all time:
Allow me to present a mini educational series on the "wonders" of punctuation.
[Cue the cheesy music!]
Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Now remember, boys and girls: Punctuation can be a scary thing, but skipping it all together is never the answer.
Unless you want to command everyone to love their "senoirs."
On the other hand, filling your cake with the wrong punctuation isn't the answer, either.
Ah, a classic case of WTH: "Where's the H?"
Fortunately, punctuation allows us to add an appropriate level of enthusiasm to our greetings:
Pass the tissues. I think Linda is having a moment.
...not to mention convey our "sincerity":
And we mean that, Elizabeth. Like, soooo much.
(Btw, bonus points for the random asterisk. I assume the footnote came on a cupcake? That said, "Not really"?)
Of course, it is possible to go overboard from time to time:
Not to mention that pesky "you're" business.
Yep. Pesky.
And will someone please explain this?
Parentheses? Really? Look, bakers, I'm pretty sure no one has ever - EVER - ordered parentheses on a cake, so why would you even consider...
Ok, so ONE person ordered parentheses on a cake.
That just means you're both wrong.
"Congratulations."
Thanks to Andrea M., Anne G., Anna S., Linda J., Margaret J., Lisa, Kayla H., Debb D., & Bunny B., who I hear enjoy cooking their dogs and their families. So let's eat guys!
*****
P.S. For folks who appreciate a good linguistics lol:
Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound - and all without ever leaving the table - it's SUPER CAKES!
Superman looks like he just flew right out of the comic-book; he's so artfully shaded! (And take note, icing purists; he's also completely fondant-free!)
"Did somebody say 3D? Make that 4D, because I QUADRUPLE DOMINATE you, Ironman! I am A) the leader of an alien robot race, B) rocking a body transformed from a friggin' semi-truck, and C) made of 100% edible deliciousness that is D) sculpted into a free-standing 3D-cake man-machine!!
"Plus, look at my cute lil' wipers!"
Don't worry; Optimus Prime is only joking. Superheroes don't really fight amongst themselves! In fact, they're far more likely to work together for the common good/deliciousness:
Yes, superheroes are united in their quest to protect and serve mankind. And also to look fabulous in a retro cookie-pop bouquet while doing so. Love those graphics!
I think my favorite thing about this cake - aside from the insanely detailed Incredible family with their tiny little Incredible phone - is that this was for a 30-year-old man's birthday. Way to stay young at heart, my friend!
That's all for now! Have a SUPER day, everyone!
*****
P.S. Here's a sweet gift for the superhero in your life - or to remind yourself that you're one:
There's a new power scooter out, the Golden Buzzaround Carry-On HD. The HD part is important. This is the heavy duty one, which is also first-in-class lithium ion battery scooter. But that's not what this entry is about (and the scheduled arrival date is Tuesday).
Since the scooter was backordered and not going to arrive in time for the Michigan trip, I ordered a (not too expensive for the specs) power wheelchair off Amazon. The choice was partly informed by the advertised shipping time: two days. Plenty of time for it to arrive. And then I watched the shipment crawl over what was clearly ground transport, likely because of the battery. Eventually the package arrival date got down to our departure date. Meanwhile, I was paralyzed with anxiety about the trip, and was barely able to pack. At least I was able to make checklists for when I eventually unfroze on the day of departure.
FedEx said my power chair would arrive between 1 and 3. This was inaccurate, and at some point the forecast switched to "end of day".
When it hadn't arrived by 4, we loaded into the car with my upright (unpowered) walker. At the last minute as we fled out the door, I thought our snack supply looked a little too small and grabbed a random bag to toss a few more things into. As we pulled out of the neighborhood I called the airline accessibility services line to report the change. Which took a little while, as I had to explain that no, I hadn't "changed my mind" about bringing the power wheelchair, the reason I wasn't taking the power wheelchair was because it hadn't arrived yet, so I couldn't take it. At that point I got the appropriate amount of sympathy.
Within the MINUTE I told the very nice customer service person goodbye, Alex spotted the FedEx truck.
By that point Silver and I were on I-5, but with a very nice turn off opportunity. (Silver had taken that specific route because it's a pain in the ass to get over another couple lanes that quickly and in traffic.)
So we went back, we thanked the Bastard profusely and profanely, with the double thumb-tap to the lips (both of us, simultaneously). Silver offloaded the walker and onloaded the chair while I talked to the airline accessibility department again and tried to figure out what the battery voltage was. The footrests fit into the duffel bag with the extra snacks, just as if I had planned it intentionally. I asked Silver to empty my padded tote bag, so we could use it for the battery.
We got to the airport on time for all of that.
I got the best of both worlds: chair coming with me, but since the battery wasn't charged we checked the main body of the chair at the Special Services counter and got wheelchair service through the airport. Security was less of a zoo than usual because we went through the wheelchair lane instead of the endless maze. I got pornoscanned for the first time.
That got us to the gate an hour earlier than we'd intended.
I was very glad to have the power chair with us, as it made some of the bits that would have been excessively strenuous much much better. Silver got used to lifting the thing into the back of their mom's SUV, and eventually we banged our heads on the car less often.
Coming back, it wasn't quite as easy going through security since I was still new at steering the chair and we didn't have the professional chair-pusher to finesse security. (No, not the ateva way.) We gate-checked the chair. I checked in with the two wheelchair-pushers who met us at the Seattle end of things, and assured the one who was waiting for me that I had my chair (as Silver cussed gently at the footrests).
And when we eventually got home, Yellface cussed us both out like I've never seen her cuss before. She was Peeved! That we! Had Abandoned! Her!!!!
I have since decked it out with retroreflective tape, electroluminescent wire, and a miniature disco projector meant for a bike.
My immunotherapy infusion yesterday may have been my last!! I have a scan on Monday that will probably say that. Belovedest celebrated by cracking into the Strategic Redpop Reserve. This will mean much more leeway to leave town and such.
Colonoscopy results: mostly normal, one pre (not sure how many pre-s to put here) cancerous "lesion", and all of them removed. Repeat in two years, this time with Extended Prep. (My understanding of "lesion" and the medical definition may not align entirely well.)
Started the new injectable after the colonoscopy. I can definitely feel the impact. It remains to be seen exactly what kind. One of my friends has a new injectable too; she's getting some sinus clearance from it. Of all the random effects.
After the infusion, Belovedest and I trekked up-city to pick up a package for alexseanchai. All Pampered Chef, and a high proportion of likely goodies vs. likely duds. There were some varying scrub brushes. The utensil/knife scrub brush looks like dentures that are actually a scrub brush, but I can see that coming in handy. There was also a quarter-sheet pan with two eighth-sheet pans. And then we trekked back down when Belovedest realized they'd left their tablet at the cancer center. Freakin' ADHD. We're on The Assassins of Thasalon in our progress through Penric.
I have a smallish makeup hobby. Part of that is sometimes going all Weird Barbie on my face with eyeliner or whatever. Tonight I've convinced myself (via iridescent green eyeliner) that some kind of moon phase forehead jewelry might really slap.
"Missus Jen, how many wrecks does it take to get to the center of your resolve against believing in a voodoo curse placed on our bakeries' numeric suffixes?"
"Let's find out!"
Firth of all... I really like saying "firth."
Toothly, allow me to point out that this is after they "fixed" it:
So I'm guessing it used to read "2rd."
(Psst. Say "2rd" out loud. Go on. It's fun! You know you want to.)
And thirthly...
Hey, that was fun. Let's try that again:
And thirthly...
(Resolve...weakening...)
And THIRTHLY...
They think the brown and yellow drips will distract us.
They're right.
Ok, ok, let's quit horsing around and get to business:
And thirthly:
Yep, that's it. I am now thoroughly convinced there is a nefarious Voodoo plot formed in the bowels of some super villain's bakery to make us all sound like Daffy Duck.You just can't argue with this kind of evidence.
But we're on to you, super villain! We know you're out there!
Ok, fine, you've made your point. Clearly we are at your mercy.
Aaand now you're just showing off.
In fact, Mr. or Mrs. Super Villain, I think I speak for us all when I say: "You're dethspicable."
Thanks to Anne, Jessica B., Sarah S., Jamie R., Kacey S., Vivek R., Teri R., & Diane C., who I've just inducted into my new Superhero League, Capes for Cakes. Report to the secret lair for your lassos and piping bags.
*****
P.S. You seem stressed. Take two of these and don't call me in the morning:
Poor Darth Vader. He used to be the baddest of the bad guys, the deadliest dad, and the grumpiest force-choker around. Over the years, however, he's been reduced to a cuddly bear, a Hello Kitty parody, and a really excellent dancer.
Adding to the indignity, in 2011 George Lucas added some "tweaks" to the original Return of the Jedi which included a rather entertaining Vader yell, which has been described as "ridiculous," "undignified," and "Dude, it's a yell. What's the big deal?
Well, never fear, fellow fans! I'm here to help.
In fact, I promise you'll never think that yell is undignified again.
Compared to these.
NOOOOOOO....
OOOOOO.....
OOOOOOO....
Oh. Actually, this one's not so bad - since it's plastic and all. I just find it funny to imagine Vader using contractions. Go on, say it in your head. "LUKE I'M YOUR FATHER." No? Just me?
Right, moving on.
[Inhale]
....OOOOOOOOOO!!!!
A grateful force-choke to Timbrely, Clare, Julie Anne D., Annie L., Arielle C., and Brenda J. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to watch the Vader TomTom commercial again. That thing cracks. me. up.
I think it was Martha Stewart who once said, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
Oh, whoops - actually that was Leonardo DaVinci.
Either way, I bet Leo and Martha would both give sincere fist-bumps of approval to the bakers of these simple yet stunning wedding cakes:
Submitted by Rachel G., found here, baker unknown.
Speaking of Martha, she's probably going to be hunting down the baker so she can feature this divine cake on the cover of her next magazine. That's a very Good Thing!
Layers of flowers, polka dots, lace edging, quilt stitching, and paisley might sound like a whole lot of crazy on a single cake, but in monochrome, they make it a masterpiece.
Of course, simple does not = easy! Those painted flowers use a technique called "brush embroidery," for example, which obviously requires waaaay more effort than buying pre-made flowers, sticking them on a cake, and pretending you made them yourself. Which I would never do. Very often. Again.
Hey, not everyone is born with a flair for fondant flower-forming! But this next baker was:
Sub'd by Rebecca S. and made by her friend Jenny, amateur cake prodigy
And would you believe Jenny was only 14 years old when she made this? Fourteen!
I'm not sure if those are jewels or simply silver dragees (totally had Google that word, and was a little concerned about typing in "edible silver balls"), but either way that's some beautiful bling.
This four-tiered cake with cleverly chosen designs that symbolize true devotion (turtle doves), peace (olive branch), and perfection, light, and life (fleur de lis) may not quite qualify as simple - but stunning? You betcha!
Such an exacting design leaves zero room for imperfections, and I can't spot a single one! I love the alternating damask pattern, and how the color scheme manages to look playful and grown up at the same time. Just gorgeous.
That's all for today! Thanks for reading, and just so you know: "You're simply the best!"
Happy Sunday!
*****
P.S. You know how everyone is decorating with these cute wall bats for spooky season?
Well I found them on Amazon! They're re-usable PVC - so weatherproof - and cost less than $10 for a pack of 56. While you're there I highly recommend scrolling the customer image gallery, too, for cute decorating ideas like this.
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cakewrecks_feed Oct. 17th, 2025 01:00 pm)
