This elegant design not only looks beautiful, but is a cinch to make, too! In fact, here are a few tips to ensure your own cherry blossom cake looks as gorgeous as this.
First, always make sure your icing is niiiice and smooth.
It helps if you lick your fingers first, so they slide smoothly over the icing.
Next, mold or pipe your branches to gracefully scale the tiers of your cake in a natural, realistic fashion.
I know it's hard to believe but, yes, that's really just icing.
Remember, the flowers are the most important part!
[Crickets chirping]
It's usually best to leave off a wedding topper for this style, but if you do choose to have one, make sure it's simple, understated, and elegant.
Note the baker's restraint. Not a single balloon animal!
And finally, when all else fails, remember:
You can always jam a stick in it and charge $200.
(Yes, this was someone's actual wedding cake.)
(And they paid for it.)
(With money.)
Leanne W., Danielle L., Moxie, Holly J., and Robert V. did you know you can make a forty dollar cake look like a 500 dollar cake with just some cookies and sprinkles? Just imagine what you could charge if you jammed a stick in it!
These cakes are all quite nicely done. I'm sure that will be of some comfort to the kids when they're in therapy.
Sock-hop it to me, Audrey R.!
Yes, happy birthday, girls, from Headless Flo and her Tinker-Toy Poodle Skirt of Probable Misfortune. ("Doom" was taken.)
Now, who wants ice cream?
"No, no, Patrick, the dinosaur isn't trying to eat you. He's here to party!"
See? Look at that cute little party hat! It really bring out his razor sharp teeth, don't you think, Selah T.?
Speaking of teeth...
This looks like the aftermath of a fairy-tale massacre, or in other words, a-DOR-able! [sing-song voice] Say, Arloe S., is that middle pig coming or going?
[announcer voice] "Hey parents, are you tired of boring, peaceful birthday parties? Want to add a little more excitement back into the one-year celebration? Then ask for the Dead Elephant special!"
[Kids yelling] "Yay! Dead elephants!"
[announcer] "That's right, kids! Yes, these delectable globs of deceased pachyderms tell the world: this party is gonna be killer!
"Side effects may include screaming, crying, thumb-sucking, sweating, itchy palms, irritable bowel, and a life-long fear of blue animals. Not recommended for children with nervous constitutions or sensitive bladders. Dead elephants are not responsible for any damages - real or imagined - done to your children. Void where prohibited, all rights reserved."
Some people think common courtesy is dead. To these people I say, "Hey, do you mind? I CAN'T HEAR THIS PHONE CONVERSATION OVER THE MOVIE WHILE YOU'RE SHUSHING ME."
(Yes, I'm joking.)
(I have exceptionally good hearing.)
And bakers, it seems, are especially bewildered by a simple "please" or "thank you:"
Aww, it's almost sad; the baker missed her own thanking!
I say "almost" sad because after you realize how often this happens...
It gets kinda funny.
Text reads: "Happy Birthday Melissa! Thank you much."
This "thank you" threw the baker SO badly she tried to cope with random question marks:
Happy Birthday Barbara!? ?Thanks!
You can almost picture her writing this, sobbing, "What does it mean? WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAN???"
And if you use BOTH "please" and "thank you" there's a real chance you could do permanent damage to your baker. So please, be responsible. Don't let this happen:
Then again, that's no excuse to be rude, either.
And trust me, it doesn't help anyway:
Thanks to Nicole P., Stephanie R., Melissa S., Nathan B., Lindsay W., & J.R. for being so easy to please.
*****
P.S. Since this saved my butt during a long painting day recently, I have a random product recommendation:
This is my new favorite belt, y'all. It basically turns anything with belt loops into an elastic waist. So comfy I forget it's on, slimline so it doesn't show under my t-shirts, and NO BELT BUCKLE to dig into my belly or unbuckle for bathroom breaks. Woohoo!
You know how stretch jeans are forever sliding down when you sit or bend, so you have to keep hitching them back up? No more! I wear this with all my jeans now. It's entirely elastic, so it moves and stretches with you, zero painful digging. I HIGHLY recommend for anyone well endowed with squish in the belly area.
EEEEEE so cute!! I think I need Chef. And Gonzo. And Animal. Curse you, LEGO, you're going to suck me in, aren't you?
Be sure to read the reviews before you buy: apparently a lot of the 6-packs from Amazon have the same figures, so if you buy more than one set at a time you may be risking a lot of duplicates.
Of course Lambeth cakes are a bit old-fashioned now, but never fear, piping purists! Some bakers are doing their darndest to bring Lambeth to the next generation, with STUNNING results:
This gravity-defying sorcery is achieved with Royal icing, which hardens to a porcelain-like consistency. Believe it or not, that net is handpiped icing, y'all. HAND-PIPED ICING.
Bakers are using string work in modern designs now, too, which makes me so, so happy:
Bakers, you are KILLING it with the color choices today. Rock on with your bad selves.
And the rest of you, look closely at those chained string borders. HAND. PIPED.
Hope you guys enjoyed our little glimpse into modern cake mastery! If you're interested, I highly recommend Googling both "Lambeth" and "Oriental Stringwork", because there's so, SO much more than I could show you here today.
Happy Sunday, and happy browsing!
*****
P.S. Speaking of piping, have you seen these new no-mess silicone piping bulbs?
Y'all. Go read the reviews; these things are apparently total game-changers. Easy to fill, clean, no more leaking piping bags, AND they fit all the Wilton metal tips we already have! I don't do much cake decorating these days, but I dopipe caulking for crafts, so I'm excited to try these out.
You ever stumble across a reeealllly old website - I'm talking pre-2008 here - where it's got the auto-play music, ten different fonts, plus flashing geocities-style graphics of crying kittens and glitter trails behind your cursor?
Well minions, I've found some cakey equivalents, and they. are. GLORIOUS.
The only thing missing is 8-bit Mario music and a MySpace link.
This is why you never drink and web-design:
Or rather, drink and edible-image-design. Holy clip art overload, Batman!
Speaking of clip art, there are some ANCIENT edible image designs still being sold in a certain huge grocery chain, and I think you'll agree: they need to stop.
First there's this:
Which is kind of cute until you realize that kind of uniform is only used for skimpy Halloween costumes nowadays... and she looks like she's about to throw that cake in someone's face. ("I put on the outfit, I got your stupid flowers and cake, and that's where I draw the line, bub. Now put. The stethoscope. DOWN.")
Don't worry, though, just to even things out, there's a male option!
...of a doctor. Doing, you know, doctory things. Because he doesn't have time to deliver your sweets and flowers, k, pumpkin? HE'S A DOCTOR.
And while we're on the subject of some sweet, sugary sexism, check out this pair of designs:
Look, I'm not one to over-analyze something as trivial as cake...
Oh, wait.
YES I AM.
So Mr. Boss Man "works" with his feet up and a knowing leer - there's not even a computer on his desk, because he doesn't concern himself with the little picture, got it? - while the female equivalent is either a secretary-type or a telemarketer. Mmmhmm. No, yeah, that's suuuper cute and appropriate.
Riiiight. Thanks to Heather S., Kathy G., Jessa H., Seab & Steph, and Katie H. for the blergiest of cakey blergs.
*****
P.S. You seem stressed. Take two of these and don't call me in the morning:
Bride-to-be Melissa spent a total of 8 hours before her wedding consulting with her baker, literally painting a picture of her dream garden cake with its cascading sugar waterfalls:
Melissa supplied all the miniature accessories: benches, bird baths, etc - so the baker only had to make the garden and waterfall parts on the multi-tiered cake.
On the Big Day Melissa was aghast to discover that:
A) there was no garden - not a stitch of green icing anywhere
B) in fact, the ONLY decorations were the miniatures Melissa herself had provided, with the exception of
C) the waterfall, which looked... like this:
[wincing] Ooh. There's a slight wrinkle.
Melissa would also like me to point out the "pond" on the bottom, which the baker converted into an above-ground pool. An above ground pool with a giant flannel scarf dangling in it. Dangle dangle dangle. Yeah. Like that.
Thanks and sympathies to Melissa, who says this STILL isn't water under the bridge. It's more like dirty laundry under the bridge, which someone brought to her wedding, and then charged her several hundred dollars for.
*****
P.S. Something about that wrinkly blue scarf reminded me of those shiny blue balls that keep your produce fresh. Have you seen these?
Just pop one in your crisper drawer and the other in your fruit bowl, and these will absorb the ethylene gas that quickens ripening, so all your fruits and veg stay fresh longer. Seems like witchcraft, I know, but go check the thousands of rave reviews: apparently they really work!
This one has the word "spiffing" in the title AND comes with a lovely green-and-gold cover, so folks will recognize your sophisticated taste while begging you to stop telling these terrible, TERRIBLE jokes.
Hah! Wait, you are joking, right? Uh, yeah, I think maybe I'll pass - thanks, though. Really.
No, seriously; now you just seem too eager. Keep your stinkin' cake, alright?
Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Back off, Chucky-boy!
No!
Well, I should think so! You're supposed to be sweet little confections, not all threatening and...
...eek! Uh, no problem, mister Cake, sir - not a word from me, nuh-uh!
Kelly, Moxie, Michele H., Ashley C., and Nikki P., I've been trying to cut down on sugar lately, and I think it's getting to me. If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to go lay down for a spell...
*****
P.S. For folks who appreciate a good linguistics lol:
I'm not sure when it happened, exactly - maybe sometime in middle school? - but I'll always remember the day Mom told me I was skipping school, and we were going shopping instead.
We spent the morning driving around to Goodwill and various thrift shops, trying on clothes, singing along to the car radio, and later stopping at Subway for lunch - which I remember being a treat, because we got the cookies for dessert.
(This is me around chocolate chip cookies. ALWAYS.)
We didn't talk about school. We didn't talk about my friends or grades or any of those awkward teenage "body-changing" topics. We just told each other which tops looked best, chatted about nothing, laughed, and had fun.
It was the first time I realized Mom wasn't just my mom, she was also my friend.
Mom was an RN while I was growing up, which meant my brother and I got zero sympathy for our scraped knees and boo-boos. Don't get me wrong; Mom was an expert at patching us up - but if we wanted a hearty "You poor thing!", then Dad was the place to go.
I later learned Mom was working nights in the ICU then, and routinely saw the kind of pain and grief I can't even fathom, because she came home and smiled and hugged us just the same.
It was terrible. But Mom loves terrible kid movies, and to this day she'll request we see whatever the latest animated or G-rated flick is, no matter how ominous the reviews, and then she'll laugh and gasp and have so much fun that you'll wind up loving it, too.
In my teens Mom was in a car accident that prevented her from ever working as a nurse again. She had to wear a neck brace for ages, and later had a surgery to wire her jaw shut for a while. Then she got braces... at the same time *I* had braces.
People kept mistaking us for sisters, which Mom REALLY liked, but I just found embarrassing - especially that time an older friend of mine hit on her... with me standing right there.
Today my folks live in a different state, but I'm happy to say they are still my friends. We visit often, and even go to Dragon Con together, where Mom loves dressing up steampunk - with outfits she still puts together from the thrift store.
Lately Mom likes to video chat and show me all the crafts she's teaching during her volunteer work at the local retirement home. And now she and Dad have joined a Harley Davidson group/club/gang(?), so they spend weekends taking long rides together decked out in the most, um, fascinating fashions.
(I could have gone my whole life without seeing my mother in leather chaps, you guys. MY WHOLE LIFE.)
Mom's the most servant-hearted person I know, and has seen and endured a lot of pain, though you'd never know it. Somehow she's managed to keep a sense of wonder and whimsy through life - something I try hard to emulate. She raised me to love reading and Star Trek and fantasy and fun, and taught me that when the going gets rough, you turn up the music and sing along extra loud - and off-key. ;)
For my folks' 40th anniversary a few years back, we sent them to Disney World - mostly for Mom - and I'll never forget her delight.
She's the big kid who makes you remember how great life really is sometimes - even when life really isn't so great. The best moms are like that. And days like today help us remember to thank our moms, and be grateful for the things we just didn't know how to appreciate when we were younger.
So happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thanks for showing me that when I thought you were being the most embarrassing, you were really showing me how to be the best adult. I love you, I'm proud of you, and I hope we can go shopping again someday soon.
PS - This is a first-time-ever cross-post from my other blog, Epbot. Same text, different pictures. So if you'd like to see the version with pics of my mom in steampunk costumes & on motorcycles & hugging awkward young Jen, click here.
*****
Oh and did you forget to send your Mom/Grandma/favorite parental personage a card today? Because you could make it up to them with a card that transforms into a bouquet:
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cakewrecks_feed May. 22nd, 2026 01:00 pm)
