First of all I would like to make one thing quite clear. I never explain anything. - M. Poppins

[nullalux]

As promised, a brief analysis and summary of responses to my Ideologies and Affiliations Poll.

Ethnicity: My mother is Filipina and my father, German. I lived in the Philippines before we settled in the US. My journal layout is in Ancient Greek only because I studied Classical Languages in college. According to poll results, both people who have and have not met me mostly thought I was some sort of generic Caucasian, which I find interesting, as I identify very strongly as Asian. Must be the light-colored eyes.

Religion: I identify as a Jewish atheist, meaning I value culturally Jewish rituals but consider myself a secular humanist. Most folks checked either Jewish or Jewish Atheist.

Sexuality: I'm a solid 3 on the Kinsey Scale. Most respondents answered bi, whether they've met me or not.

Dietary choices: I am vegan, both for health and ethical reasons. Those who have not met me primarily thought I was vegetarian or vegan. Those who have met me overwhelmingly chose vegan.

Political affiliation: Moderate. In high school, I was Republican. By college, I'd shifted to Libertarian, but became frustrated by the two-party system and eventually registered as Decline to State. According to the poll, most people considered me politically liberal, with a smattering each for moderate and socialist.

Relationship model: Polyfidelity seems the closest fit, since I've heard 'polyamory' defined as 'multiple relationships without commitments' (which seems problematic at best). Those who have met me all answered with some form of poly, although more favored polyamory. Of those who have not met me, 68% chose polyamory and 23% polyfidelity.

Regarding the amusing Relationship Poll, several respondents seem to have very ambitious projections regarding my stamina in such matters! In truth, I have varying levels of intimacy with some of my lovely cuddlesome friends, but I maintain only a few more serious connections. I also feel compelled to note here that Spencer is my cat, and further, while he is quite a handsome gentleman, we have a strictly platonic relationship.

Comments

[blue-estro.livejournal.com]

My understanding of the terms is that polyamory is multiple relationships with commitments

I have encountered a sufficiently large number of people who use use "polyamory" as explicitly implying no commitments that 'polyfidelity' ends up being a more accurate descriptor in terms of the root words.

Given that calling folks out on the important distinctions between polyamory and polyfuckery is often not reacted to well, just using (even if slightly incorrectly) another 'poly'-prefixed word is easier.

[chalepa-ta-kala.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

[karenbynight.livejournal.com]

Interesting. Almost all of my friends use and are comfortable with swinging vs polyamory for that distinction, but I've certainly met people who aren't so happy with swinging as a term. I'm happy to take up terms that cause the least confusion.

However, I don't think using polyfidelity in that sense helps, as I think the meaning I suggest is already widespread(*), and that the differences between those two relationship structures are large enough that interchanging them would cause quite a bit of confusion.

*at least, among those likely to discuss alternative relationship structures at all

[dicedork.livejournal.com]

These are the only ways I've ever really heard the terms (and those distinctions) as long as I've been hearing them. My understanding of polyfidelity was that it was a completely closed relationship (with no real chance for add-ons) that happened to involve more than two people. Though I think that line between "swinging" and "poly" is a far more contentious debate, to be sure.

[chalepa-ta-kala.livejournal.com]

As I mentioned to karenbynight, I seem to identify as polyfi because, while I'm not in a strictly "closed" relationship, it's awfully rare for me to get involved with someone past smooching at a club, etc.

"Soon will be the foxes!"

[shoutingboy.livejournal.com]

'...I've certainly met people who aren't so happy with swinging as a term...'

I have to admit, the term always makes me think of Steve Martin as Yortunk Festrunk, the wild and crazy Czechoslovakian. "Let's swiiing!"

But maybe that's just me...

[kest]

I think I've just decided that 'poly' has enough spectrum that as a description it is only slightly more useful than 'alternative', and have fallen back to rule one of poly - clearly communicate your own personal boundaries and expectations.

[blue-estro.livejournal.com]

With potential partners/lovers, of course and always, (I think this should happen even if one identifies as even the most vanilla varieties of monogamous)

However, in casual conversation where the just a gist is needed for context I much prefer quasi-accurate is to full detailed disclosure.