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Last week, a package arrived from Zip-N-Squeeze, emblazoned with their striking motto: "No Sucking Required!" This would have been more disturbing if we hadn't recently ordered feeding pouches for post-surgery recovery, but still! I should have asked if they had a discreet brown-paper-wrap option.
The package comes with a handy booklet entitled "Get Ready...Get Set...Squeeze!" Thank goodness for page 11, which helpfully advises me about Foods to Avoid Blending, such as: tacos, popcorn, pepperoni, candy, and bacon. You'll be relieved to note, however, that Spam is on the list of Foods Approved for Blending. Huzzah.
The delivery did serve, however, to remind me that the surgery itself is in less than three weeks (9 June). We've created an Amazon list of resources we'll need before then.
The procedure is a bilateral sagittal split osteotomy (BSSO). This will lengthen my mandible (lower jaw) and correct my bite. There will also be a bone graft using bone from my hip. [Edit: It will actually be a graft of synthetic bone, made from coral.] The surgeon will be going through my cheeks (near the jaw line) to affix three tiny screws on each side, but the rest of the incisions will be intra-oral (inside my mouth). I've been told to expect swelling and bruising for several months, but there shouldn't be any lasting scars. There is a small chance of permanent nerve damage, resulting in loss of sensation in affected areas. Even if this does occur, however, it shouldn't be serious. I will be on a liquid diet for six weeks (hence the zipping and squeezing). For four weeks, I will need to sleep upright, and cannot lift over 10 lbs. My brackets will come off six months after surgery (November 2008). I'm very much looking forward to that part!
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But I am extremely okay with you returning what I picked out and swapping it for something higher-priority. Or you can leave it in the shrink-wrap until close to surgery date, then exchange it if your other admirers haven't gotten you the most-important stuff.
Love forever!
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I think "No Sucking Required!" is a motto that should be seized upon by some party or other during this election season.
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Yay!
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Thanks for your kindness.
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Please, let me know whatever I can do in the next several months to take care of some of the fussy details, so you can attend to your healing and Dennis can attend to you. :-)
I have a sudden vision of Mad Scientist Blender Experiments date nights for everyone. You know: lab coats, beakers, strange brews bubbling on the stove, a line-up of your admirers willing to taste test each new batch for palatability and, hopefully, tastiness...
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Best of luck with the surgery and recovery!
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I need to research Ensure. Do you know if it's non-dairy?
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I'm not sure what kind the case Dad got is, other than I think it was strawberry. Ensure will send you a free sample if you sign up on their Web site. I've been meaning to try it myself for days when I'm too sick to eat.
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Hey, can you request a specific jawline? Cause you know, Kiera Knightley's jawline is pretty hawt.
(i will not admit to having a weird obsession with jawlines at this time)
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And I'm sure it's not your weirdest obsession.
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Coming to the Rosin Coven/Vagabond Opera show at Cafe du Nord Friday?
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Take pictures!
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Can't even shout, can't even cry / the Gentlemen are coming by.
And thank you.